Family Reaction

When considering dreads, considering the reactions of others - specifically whether or not you are willing/prepared to handle them - is important. Any place I came across that showed how to make dreads seemed to bring this up. I wasn't really worried. Answering strangers' questions about how often (or if) I wash my hair, no problem! Explaining how I made my dreads sounded fun.

One site even suggested that because of how common negative reactions to dreadlocks are, I should tell my family before dreading my hair, so they would be prepared. That idea hadn't even occurred to me! It's my hair, my hairstyle. I wouldn't tell my family before I dyed my hair red or cut it short, would I? No, so why would I bother to tell them before I dread it? But then I decided that maybe it was good advice. Not because I -needed- to, but because telling my family would help them feel like more a part of my life.

I was not prepared for my family's reaction. I was so excited about dreading my hair, that I guess it didn't even occur to me that my family might not share that excitement. And boy, did they NOT share that excitement! With my entire family gathered for Christmas in February (we couldn't get together in December), I announced to my mother, father, sisters and brothers-in-law, and their responses were overwhelming: "why would you want to stop washing and brushing your hair for years?" "your hair's not long enough. Doesn't your hair have to be long enough for you to wipe your armpits with it? I thought that was part of the gig;" "they're so ugly." There were more responses, but those are the ones that stuck the most painfully. From strangers, sure. From family? I don't want to have to deal with that every time I see them with dreads in my hair.

Hopefully, in time, I'll at least be able to explain that it's clean, and maybe some of the jibes will stop. Bombarded with all of those negative reactions at once, I didn't get a chance to really explain that they weren't true. In time, I guess. I hope. Strangers are one thing. Family is another. But as much as it hurt, it doesn't change my mind. Sure, I wish they had been more supportive, but for the most part, they didn't really ask questions (or at least, they didn't give me a chance to answer any of the ones they asked - meaning they didn't really want answers!). I take that to mean that they don't really care. Translation: I'm free to do as I choose. Sure, I'll get ragged on, but frankly, certain members of my family like to tease so much that they'll always find something to poke me with - might as well be my hair.

Is it natural?

Some of the appeal of dreadlocks to me is the image of the easy-going, no fuss, no worries life. Wake up and go! Don't wanna wash your hair for four days? No worries, dreads don't show grease like fine, straight hair does! I can't speak for others' impressions of dreads, but I kinda associate them with a modern version of the "hippie" movement: let things be natural; don't fret about the small stuff or waste time with frivolous primping; learn to appreciate the world around us without feeling the need to change it; learn to appreciate our own bodies - our colors, our shapes, even our smells - in the same way.

Since I'm already a little bit hippie - I practically never wear makeup, I let my hair air dry and avoid products beyond basic shampoo and conditioner, I let my leg hair go natural most of the time, etc - I figured dreads would be a perfect fit for me.

Then I researched them. Fine hair like mine fights being dreaded, so for the first few months after the initial intensive knot-making, tons of extra precautions have to be taken to make sure all that work doesn't unravel: rubber bands, super-duper shampoo that will rid hair of any grease that might help loosen the knots, rolling the dreads every week (one site suggested every day), and some people use wax to keep the hair glued together until the knots set. Also, after washing dreads, you have to make sure they're completely dry (which I'm thinking means I'd have to use a blow dryer), so that they don't rot, and you have to get special shampoos that won't leave gross residue to guck up the dreads and make them disgusting. All the work involved is one of the reasons that I didn't dread my hair years ago.

I have to ask myself, do I really want to put so much effort into a hairstyle that gives the impression that I don't put any effort into it? I mean, a lot of people think that people with dreads don't even put forth the effort to wash them! Others seem to think that dreads happen because you haven't brushed your hair in a really long time. All the while, I'd actually be rolling my dreads as often as I could, spending an hour or so to make sure every single one isn't damp after I wash them, crocheting and looping and waxing them when the roots grow out un-knotted or strands come out, etc. Given how much of a lazy hippie I am, do I really wanna to put that much effort into -any- hairstyle?

The flip side? Dreads look super cool, they would add volume to my fine, straight hair, and in theory, after those first few intensive months, they'd become easy maintenance. Easier maintenance than my current routine? Probably not. Right now I don't have to blow dry my hair after I wash it, and I don't have to worry that as it grows out, the roots might not lock into my dreads. But as far as hairstyles that require maintenance go, the upkeep is relatively low, and after years of thinking how cool it'd be to have dreads, maybe I'm finally ready to put in some work to make that happen.

They might not be as much work as they sound. They might be so great that I won't mind the effort and I'll want to keep them forever and ever, til death do us part. Or they'll be even more work than I think, and they may for whatever reason look terrible on me, so I'll want them gone. Who knows?

Gotta have dreadlocks myself to find out!